Thou Shalt Not Get Angry

Have you ever become so absorbed in what you were doing—an exciting project, a difficult school assignment—that you forgot to eat? If so, then you probably remember that throbbing headache that showed up a few hours later. Most of us in that situation are able to put...

Suicidal versus Non-Suicidal Self-Injury

I’ve been working with non-suicidal self-injury, or NSSI, for about 14 years. Most of the people I help are cutters, burners, carvers, pickers, or other self-harmers who have no intent of actually killing themselves. Their interest in this admittedly dark behavior is...

Self-Injury in the Summer

Summer is the season to show some skin. The images of bikini clad vixens and shirtless studs are impossible to avoid if you surf the web, watch a little television, or simply stand in line to buy your groceries. The idea of working towards and achieving the ideal...

Can NSSI Lead to Suicide?

When parents, teachers, or loved ones discover that someone they care about is engaging in some kind of self-harm, their natural response is one of fear. And usually it’s a specific fear: Does this mean s/he is going to commit suicide? Almost every family that we...

Sharp Objects

One of the first questions I often get when parents come into therapy terrified of their child’s self-harm is some version of this: What should I do with all the knives and other sharp objects in the house? Their first instinct, usually, is to remove everything from...

It’s Okay to Feel Shame

There’s a lot of bad publicity out there these days for one of nature’s most important emotions. “Don’t shame me!” is a frequent conversation-ender that people seem to be using more and more to get out of a sticky confrontation with a friend or family member. When we...